About six years ago, a few eyebrows were raised when billionaire lawyer, Ned Nwoko, took Nollywood actress Regina Daniels to wife. The eyebrows were raised not because either of them had committed an offense, but due to the age gap between them. Nwoko was 58 at the time, with Daniels only 19, and barely out of her diapers. There is a whooping 39 year age differential between husband and wife, and so people felt justified in questioning the essence of their union.
Obviously, they both belong to different generations. It is equally possible to say that Ned Nwoko married his daughter. Not literally, though, but in terms of the fact that had he married earlier, he could have fathered a child of Daniels age. Not only that, Nwoko was also known to already be married at the time, with not one, but multiple wives. As a result, people wondered how they would cope with each other, in terms of their likes and dislikes, social behavior, and political understanding. Many others wondered what a child was doing getting entangled in such a polygamous web. The ready acquiscence of Daniels’ parents to such a union, was also a subject of discussion. While many agreed that Ned Nwoko’s riches mostly played a part in scoring him such a young, fresh, and beautiful bride, others adopted a wait and see attitude in order to fathom how the entire marital match would play out.
Not being a Nollywood connoisseur, and having a certain disdain for social media, I was unaware of all the drama that played out in social and political circles in relation to their marriage. My knowledge of Ned Nwoko, was only in relation to his activities with the Nigerian Governor’s Forum, NGF, with whom I had a small business relationship years ago. As for Regina Daniels, I absolutely knew nothing about her. I didn’t know who she was and couldn’t tell her from a can of paint. In the last two years, however, as an Ukwuani man, from Utagba-Uno, in Ndokwa West Local Government Area of Delta State, Ned Nwoko, happens to be my representative in the upper chamber of the National Assembly; as senator representing Delta North Senatorial District. As a result, I began to show more interest in his activities. It was in this regards that I came to know more about him and his marriage to Regina Daniels.
In the last six years, while the marriage has not been free of drama, it must be said that it defied the odds. Being an actress, Daniels effectively deployed her platforms to showcase the marital bliss in which she lived as Nwoko’s wife. Cars, luxury trips, and luxury living, followed by expensive gifts, et al. All curated to show that marrying Nwoko was the best decision of her life. To cap it off, the union has been blessed with two beautiful children, as a result, skeptics were made to eat their words, and most people looked on Regina Daniels with envy.
Unfortunately, however, life does not always cruise on an even keel, due to the unpredictability of human existence. As a result, there has been some turbulence in the Nwoko household. While this is nothing new, as no marital union comes without some back and forth, the fact that everything is playing out in the public space has added some spice to the entire drama. For starters, Daniels is an actress, it becomes obvious, therefore, that she loves drama. She is therefore in her element when whipping up public sentiments in her favor, and savoring the public attention. According to Chinua Achebe, a man who brings home an ant infested firewood, should not complain at the visit of lizards. It follows, therefore, that Ned Nwoko who married a dramatist, must equally be prepared for his homemade Nollywood drama to be viewed publicly.
Surprisingly, however, Nwoko has taken to the public exposure like fish to water. The man seems to revel in it. In the years since he married Daniels, his public persona has undergone transformation, with him regularly posting his official and family activities on social media. The gutso with which he has put out his own narrative in the public space, since the latest family spat, shows that he was actually prepared for this drama from the outset. Ned Nwoko has ensured that his side of the story is taken in stride in the entire saga, by keeping the public abreast of happenings regularly.
Of recent across the world, men have been demonized when the issues of spousal squabbles hit the public space. The dominant narrative is usually that of the woman. Men seem not to be interested in having their family drama be the subject of dinner table gossip or bar room discussions. And so, they remain silent, preferring to maintain their dignity, while their wives malign them with unsubstantiated accusations and negative labels. While some men are able to overcome the effects of these negative labels over time, most others remain permanently damaged.
As is usual in matters of this nature, a lot of women jumped on Regina Daniels’ side of the squabble as soon as the story broke. No interest was shown by them in hearing from the other party or in seeking a reconciliation. As far as they were concerned, one of their own has been injured, and so the guilty man must pay. There has been a tendency for the public to always believe the woman when marital squabbles break out in the public domain. This is especially so, when domestic violence is mentioned. Men are always seen to be the guilty party. The men inadvertently lend credence to this assertion by remaining silent and dignified, in a bid to not turn their marital challenges into a public drama.
It is obvious, however, that Ned Nwoko, despite being a senator of the federal republic, a lawyer, and a billionaire, to boot, is not shy of having his voice heard, and his marital squabbles used as the soundtrack for social gatherings. He wants his side of the story told, and the world must hear him. Since the matter received public attention, Nwoko has not hesitated to push out his own narrative. Unlike most men who wave away their wife’s public angst, Senator Nwoko is not shy of rumbling in the mud with his wife and her supporters.
A group of men say they are impressed with the senator’s boldness and lack of shyness. The time has come for men to throw away this toga of dignity and put out their own narratives when women try to malign them in the public space. Everyone has a voice, and every story has at least two sides. For too long, men have been browbeaten into silence in order to maintain their dignity, but in the long run, have had to deal with numerous mental health issues as a result of the vitriol thrown at them publicly by women.
In the estimation of these men, Senator Ned Nwoko deserves commendation for showing leadership in this regard. This does not mean that they support Nwoko in the disagreement with his wife, their support is only to the extent that his part of the story must be heard. In their view, reason should prevail, so that husband and wife could find a pathway to reconciliation in the name of the love they once shared, and for the sake of their innocent children. If that is not possible, Nwoko and Daniels should go their separate ways, without damaging each other’s reputation publicly.
According to them, it is gratifying to see that at least one man has shown courage by speaking up for himself. It is their hope that from now onwards, other men will take a cue from the distinguished Senator, and begin to speak up when their women try to throw them under the bus publicly in the course of a spousal dispute.
