John Thomas Okeife.
Yes, you read that title correctly; my penis is not for only one woman! My penis is my property, and it is within my rights to use it anyway I please. That is not to say that I am an unfaithful man, or that I can not be faithful, but simply to assert my right as a man.
Of recent in our country, women have developed a penchant for cutting off penises, that is why I am writing this piece, in order to take a stand, and make my position clear. I am not a part of the African craze, and the rush to imitate Europeans by pretending to be a one-woman man. I am an African man, and I never wish to make a promise of fidelity, which I would not keep. In our world today, infidelity abounds, from Greenland to Uzbekistan, and from Shanghai to Cairo. Men and women are involved, yet, there’s a pretense by humans that absolute fidelity is possible. I want to make clear that I am not part of that gang.
Let me dial back to some of the incidents that prompted this article. In Oturkpo, Benue State, in 2018, Roseline Ajene, a housewife, cut off the penis of her husband John Ajene, over infidelity. In Dutse, Jigawa State, in the same year, Ramatu Tafida, a 17 year old housewife, cut off the penis of Abdulahi Sabo, her husband, because he was unfaithful. In Lagos, a similar incident took place when Udeme Otike-Odibi, a 48 year old lawyer, chopped off the penis of her husband Symphorosa Otike-Odibi, over his philandering. In Jalingo, Taraba State, in 2020, Aliyu Umar had his manhood sliced off by his wife Halima Umar, for marrying another wife. Again in Lagos, in 2021, Janet Uduak, another housewife, cut off her husband Kolawole Richard’s penis over his keeping of a sidechick. Not too far away in Agbor, Delta State, Blessing Ndidi tried her butchering skills, by attempting to cut off Emmanuel Ndidi, her husband’s phallus. Luckily for Emmanuel, his penis did not completely cut off, but was left hanging by a thin skin. We sincerely hope the penis was recovered by medical science. That’s not all, in Abeokuta, Ogun State, Yemisi Ogunlana chopped off the penis of her husband, Idowu Adebowale, for having an extramarital affair. In Port-Harcourt in May 2025, Gift a housewife, sliced off the penis of her husband, Sunday, as retaliation in the course of a family dispute. Most of us will recall the viral video of police ASP Caleb Leramo, who was based in Odo-Ado area of Ado-Ekiti, Ekiti State, and how his wife, Taiwo Leramo, chopped off his penis, due to reports of his lechery. He however, attacked his wife, leading to her death, before he also succumbed to his injuries and also lost his life. This is only a few of the callous stories, in the ongoing saga of the Nigerian woman against the penis.
Some say that men have become notorious for making promises they never intend to keep, and as a result, women feel hurt when these promises are broken. Women thereby resort to extreme measures like cutting off the ‘innocent’ penis as a means of retaliation. The story trended sometimes ago of a world renowned Nigerian musician, who promised a young lady a Lamborghini, only to renege on his word after having his way with her. That is not a good development; a gentleman must always strive to keep his promises. Failing to keep a promise, however, is not enough reason for the incessant attacks on the penis.
African men have recently begun to buy into the European trap of promising fidelity/faithfulness to their women. The African man, however, was never a one-woman man. I grew up to know my grandfather as a polygamist. All around me in our village in my growing up years, there was scarcely a family that was not polygamous. That is what I grew up to know, and that is what was generally accepted by society, and there was no trouble. As time went by, however, things began to change. The residual effects of colonialism and the economic downturn in our society, combined to force men into claims of being civilized, and pretenses to fidelity began to take root.
As I write, polygamy is an offense in continental Europe. It is therefore safe to say that polygamy is a European rather than a religious tradition. The challenge for Africans over the years, however, has been the penchant to view European traditions, attitudes, and actions, as being superior to those of Africa. This inferiority complex must not continue. There is the need for Africans to strive to disentangle their minds from this colonial burden and become more assertive of who they truly are. We are different from Europeans, not just by the color of our skin, but in our culture and traditions. If we fail to assert our rights to be different, in the not too distant future, African cultures could be erased and Africans could lose their identity.
Polygamy has always been our way until the Europeans came with their guns, their knives, and the Bible. In preaching the Christian doctrine, they infused it with the European culture. Today, African women demand monogamous marriages without understanding how the concept came about. Some say the Christian religion prescribes monogamy, and as a result, anyone who professes the Christian faith must live in monogamy. I have searched through the Holy Bible, and not one passage strictly forbids polygamy. In fact, the Old Testament is replete with stories of polygamy. The story of King Solomon and his hundreds of wives and concubines remains poignant. King David, his father, was married to multiple women. The Sarah situation with Abraham her husband, is another case in point; where it was Sarah, who encouraged Abraham to have her maid as a second wife. Abraham’s son, Isaac, even married two sisters at the same time; Leah and Rachael.
In the New Testament, polygamy was never condemned. The closest the Bible came to recommending monogamy is with respect to persons who wish to become leaders in the church; 1st Tim 3:1-2. It is specific in the above scripture that whosoever desires to be a Bishop in the church, must be the husband of one wife, and that is all the Bible says. It never said Christians must be monogamous. The concept of monogamy is, therefore, alien to the Bible. Obviously, the Holy Qur’an supports polygamy, allowing a man to have more than one wife, provided that he loves them equally. Polygamy is, therefore, a European concept brought along by the Christian missionaries who first introduced Christianity to Africa. There is, therefore, a challenge before the African Christian, in separating what is strictly Biblical, and what is a social concept introduced by his early Christian teachers.
Polygamy has equally been impacted by the feminist movement; another Western concept, which began as a quest for equal rights and opportunities for women in Europe and North America. I do not wish to go into the history of feminism, suffice it to say that, by the early 20th century, women began to delve into things which hitherto had been the exclusive preserve of men. After World War 2, women gained equal political rights; they could now divorce their husbands without being stigmatized. By the 1970’s, women liberation became a big deal, and the fight against patriarchy began in full force. Slogans such as; what men can do women can do better, down with patriarchy, the sisterhood is powerful, a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle, etc., became popular amongst women. Through the 1980’s and up to 1995, issues concerning women remained in the front burners. At the end of the Fourth World Conference on Women, popularly referred to as the Beijing Conference, in September 1995, women became bolder and more assertive.
As a result of this, the lines between the traditional roles of the sexes began to be blurred. Women wanted to play football, to be boxers, wrestlers, soldiers, bull fighters, body builders, weightlifters, etc. In fact, women wanted to be involved in all the things that were previously the exclusive preserve of men. This is the crossroads at which the world finds itself today; everyone wants to be a man, and soon we will have a uni-gender world, where men and women would be the same, much against the desires of creation. There is the wrong impression that the office of man is more important than the office of woman. This has led many women to abandon their office, and to start challenging men and question why a man could have many women at the same time, while a woman would be said to be guilty if she were with more than one man.
Let us reference the Bible once more. From Genesis to Revelation, at no point was a man said to have committed adultery. Adultery is strictly a woman offense; men do not commit adultery! Today, however, Europeans have come up with the concept that men commit adultery. It becomes clear, therefore, that the boundaries on polygamy were not imposed by religion, but rather, are based on the modern ideas of women liberation and western liberalism.
Women are mostly blinded by the seeming overt power that men wield. They become jealous of those powers, and therefore, want the same powers for themselves. For instance, there are more men in political offices, who wield power, and use their influence, they give commands, and are in control, using their influence anyway they please. Men stay out late with friends, drinking, chasing other women, and telling coarse jokes. Men equally enjoy a certain level of freedom not available to women. Women, therefore, want these privileges for themselves. Unknown to women, however, while men seemingly enjoy this overt power, the covert power to actually determine the direction of events lies with women. It has been proven that the covert controls the overt. While men wield overt power, the God-given power of women is actually covert.
Let us consult the Bible once again. Adam fell after being dominated by Eve, his wife. King Solomon was brought down by the Queen of Sheba. Similarly, Samson was conquered by his wife, Delilah. The same can be said of Jezebel and her husband, King Ahab. More recently, data available shows that while 73% of women onboard the Titanic survived after it capsized, conversely, only 19% of the men were able to make it. After his troubles with Adidas, Kanye West is now worth about $400m, with his ex-wife Kim Kardashian, being worth about $1.8b, yet it is the poorer Kanye West who pays Kim Kardashian $200,000 monthly, in child support. These instances, prove that women win by subtlety, and not by aggression. Suffice it to say that when women are focused on nurturing their naturally given covert power, by being soft, gentle, nurturing, and supple, the battle of the sexes would become irrelevant.
But this is not the case. Due to misguided knowledge, there is an over concentration of interest by women in the office of man, and the pursuit of equality. In exercising this desire, however, there is one male office that has remained unattainable, and elusive to women, and that is the office of the phallus; the penis.
In the WWE, for those interested in wrestling, there is a woman performer who goes by the moniker; The Man! This is to prove that she performs above the average woman. These days, women prefer to wear male clothes, talk with authority, and give orders like men do. These are subtle ways women demonstrate their preference of male attributes. They prefer the office of man to the office of woman. Chinweizu, in his seminal treatise, The Anatomy of Female Power; used many instances to demonstrate the potency of woman power over man, when it is applied with subtlety. In like manner, Esther Vilar in her world acclaimed 1971 work; The Manipulated Man, highlights this higher power of women when they operate in their natural
office. Yet, women covet the office of man.
It becomes obvious, therefore, that the penis is the object of woman obsession. It is actually not the male office, per se, that women want. What they actually desire is the male sex organ, hence their quickness to attack it during every dispute. The penis has, however, remained unattainable to the woman. Women see the male sex organ as the ultimate instrument of male dominance. And it has remained the last man standing in the quest of women to appropriate the offices of man.
This is not for a lack of effort on the part of women, though. Vibrators, dildos, carrots, bananas, cucumbers, yams, and other objects, have been tried as substitutes, but have woefully failed the test. Nothing can replace the phallus when it is throbbing, with blood rushing through its veins, as it nods its head at the object of its desire. Some women demonstrate their anger against the penis by how they attack it during coitus. They smash it, pound it, grind it, grab it, bite it, spit on it, massage it, cuddle it, and treat it in all manner of ways. There is, therefore, a love-hate relationship between the woman and the penis. This is the reason why, in recent days in our country, and elsewhere, women have found it convenient to always attack the offending object of male supremacy; the phallus, up to the extent of having to chop it off. Without the penis, women could easily claim sameness with men. Unfortunately, however, the throbbing penis is a constant reminder of the difference between man and woman. Women mostly bow to man because of the phallus. To some women who feel that they have attained, the penis remains a clear and present threat. That is why there has been an upsurge in the attack against the penis.
As an African man, I do not wish to succumb to European propaganda of one man, one wife. This culture gained grounds due to African inferiority complex, and belief that Europeans are always correct. As a true African son and a gentleman, I will neither compromise my nature, nor make a promise of fidelity to a woman which I do not intend to keep. That is why it became necessary to write this story, and make it clear that my penis is not for only one woman. My penis is an active and roving penis, and would remain so. I am not a promiscuous man, neither am I an unfaithful man, but I wish to remain free to make my choices as I wish.
To my current lovers, I say leave me, if you disagree with my position. To future lovers, I say refuse me, if you find my position disagreeable. Finally, I wish to make a general statement to all women; do not ever come near my penis with a sharp object, because my penis is not an object for the practice of your slicing or butchering skills. I would react with commensurate force, and crush by any means necessary, any attempt to harm my phallus. Protecting my penis is a task that must be done!
_John Thomas Okeife is a social commentator. He contributed this piece from Asaba, Delta State._
